Coming Full Circle...with Courage

Okay, no fooling this time. It's December, and I have T minus three days to finish this blog.

No sooner had I driven home from New Jersey I was packing (and substitute plan writing) once again to make the trek to Charleston one more time. 365 days later, the moment had arrived to light another torch. I had been in such a state of motion (drive, speak, drive, teach, drive, write, repeat) that it wasn't really registering that this was indeed the end.

Until the hail storm. Right around the Buckhannon exit. In the dark. I had managed to drive through every type of weather over the past twelve months, every precipitation imaginable, except hail. I had even bragged the week before about how I at least avoided "that one."

Driving three miles per hour in the pitch black in a hail storm, it hit me like the swollen white pebbles bouncing off the hood of the car. This was it. If I could get through this one last storm, I had made it.

***
The next morning, I spoke at the state board meeting about my year. Before going in, I walked around the Capitol Complex one more time. What was once so imposing a year ago had become familiar territory. It's where laws are made and voices are meant to be heard - even if those on the receiving end don't like what you have to say.

I don't like to "selfie," but when I do, it's with the Capitol in the background.

I spoke about the view I had over my year, comparing it to being at the peak of Spruce Knob. That view included taking in some of the great inequalities that exist across this state. There are good things happening in education in West Virginia, but that doesn't mean there isn't work to be done. You can't expect teachers and students to keep doing more with less and less; it's a set up for failure. In an era of high stakes everything in education, those that are directly impacted by changes have the least amount of voice. Some don't get a chance to be heard; others are afraid of the consequences of speaking up. Both need a champion.

Addressing the state board

***
This is random, but I love Ollie's Bargain Warehouse in Hagerstown. No joke, it lives up to it's slogan "Good stuff...CHEAP!" About two-thirds of the store is discounted books - maybe it's not quite two-thirds, but that's the reason I frequent there. It's a fun, fast way to furnish my classroom library.

When I was there this summer, kneeling on the cement floor to pick through a bottom shelf, a thin, errant book slid down from the shelf above. It had a pale, crumpled dust jacket - and a bright orange $1.99 price sticker.

As I pulled it out to remove it from my pursuit of non-fiction, my eyes caught the title.

Courage, by Bernard Waber.

It was a simple picture book, with a few sentences on each page. Nothing fancy. It had obviously been passed over before.

I looked for one without such a grimy cover. No such luck. What am I going to do with such an "un-fifth grader" book anyway? Hmm. Character traits? Analogies? I'll think of something, as I stuck it in my cart. I peeked - thank goodness beneath that embattled dust jacket was a smooth, glossy book.

***
Three months later, I was shoving items into a bag and tears out of my eyes. I wanted it to be awesome. One last time to address the teachers of West Virginia, and here I am, ready to hit the road to go - and I don't have a speech. Nothing written down at all. Once last time to speak, and in the midst of the crazy that is the beginning of the school year, that one important task kept getting pushed to the side. Now what was I going to do?

Be different, but more importantly, be the difference. 

As I reached under the table to unplug my laptop, an odds-and-end pile of random items that hadn't made it to school yet greeted me. Courage was, once again, a part of the misfit mix.

What makes the difference?

So I snapped out of my pity party frenzy. Geesh. What had made the difference, every time, this past year? It was starting right back at me, under the table, with wrinkled eyes, waiting for me to see it.

24 hours later, Courage became a part of my speech. Click here.

With my coordinator, Monica Beane, and the 2015 WV Teacher of the Year, Gail Adams

And with that, I officially (and gratefully) attained "has been" status. A year of amazing highs, lows, and tests came to a close. It's an blessing to receive this honor, and an accomplishment to be on the other side of it. Looking back, I don't know how I did it, except...

Courage is what we give to one another.

International Space Camp, Part 1: Mission (Temporarily) Impossible, Parade of States, Shuttle Mission, and du Midi Reception

I'm speed writing.

This time, next week, a new school year begins for teachers. Well, actually it's Wednesday, but close enough. I have my first week where I'm not flying/driving/speaking/etc. since...??? I was somewhere every week in July. And now it's August. I spent the weekend getting my classroom to 95% completion so I could have a week to clean house, cook real food, and write - and prepare for whatever the next year brings.

First, I've need to recap Space Camp. It comes at just the right time of the year when we, as state teachers of the year, need to recharge and connect with one another. I don't like cliches, but "it takes one to know one" applies to this year wholeheartedly. We get each other and the discord, decisions, and travel dramas (more on that in a minute) that have ensued since we first met each other in January. If we didn't have the opportunities to connect with one another, this year would be a lot more isolating that it already is most of the time. So International Space Camp (although the state teachers of the year attend, there were several teachers from other countries that joined our group as well) was not only a chance to learn and bring back experiences to our school, but to support one another as our lives take on the next chapter.

Let's get back to the travel drama. I have been fortunate in that many of the events held this year have been in D.C. and therefore within driving/train distance. This was the first time I had to fly out for an event since January. Several of us were on the same connecting flight from Charlotte into Huntsville, less than an hour away by air.

Then we got the news that our flight was not only cancelled, but we were no other options to fly out that day. Not what anyone wanted to hear, as we scanned Facebook for posts of already arriving teachers touring the Space Camp grounds and being sized for their flight suits. Fortunately we were given hotel rooms for night and a chance to fly out the next afternoon. After a short delay the next day, we were on our way to Alabama.

Our luggage was already in Huntsville (supposedly), so Berkeley had to rough it
with some travel goodies from US Air (and whatever toiletries I had in my
carry-on).

Finally on a plane...

Landed!

MD, SC, NC, and WV on the bus to the dorms

Although we did miss the orientation day activities, we arrived just in time to change for the parade of states/nations. Every teacher participating was asked to bring a costume and create a short presentation to introduce their states and countries to the other participants. At first it seemed a little silly, but it was fun to see everyone dressed up and learn about each other's state - and it made for some great pictures. Can you guess what each state represents?

South Dakota, North Carolina, and Kentucky

Arizona, Utah, California, and New Mexico

Florida, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Kentucky, and Virginia

Mountain Homesteader with the WV flag :-)

Group shot with Pathfinder

We also had a special introduction by Don Thomas, a former NASA astronaut. He gave an inspiring speech about his journey into the space program and how, although it took four times, he never gave up hoping to be accepted into the space shuttle program.

The following day we had some introductory activities and were able to meet with our teams for the week. The first activity for my team, Destiny, was to prepare for our space shuttle simulation. There is a building at Space Camp that houses a simulator of a space shuttle, International Space Station Module, lunar orbiter, and two mission controls. There are built to look and "feel" similar to the actual NASA structures, so it's very exciting and FUN (and there's nothing wrong with fun - if teachers don't experience joy, how do you expect the students to?) to take on any role. I was in mission control as a EECOM (monitors weather and air pressure for missions).

International Space Station Module

Monitors in Mission Control

My work station :-)

You have a script to refer to, since we're amateurs :-) 

Mission in Progress (until the buttons on the screen light up red...)
with the Texas TOY Monica Washington and American Samoa TOY Claire Bacus

We then returned back to our dorms at the University of Alabama at Huntsville to get dressed for the evening reception at Saturn IV Hall, located at the Davidson Center. The original Saturn IV rocket is suspended from the ceiling. This reception was sponsored by the du Midi Women's Club of Huntsville. Many of the husbands of the women that are part of this organization were engineers for the Saturn IV and were there in attendance. This reception was also special in that it commemorated the 45th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission.

My view under Saturn IV

Cute centerpiece created by one of the du Midi ladies

With Dr. Paul Allison, one of the engineers on Saturn IV,
and his wife Janice

With Janice Allison, NASA management analyst Bennie Jacks, Utah
TOY Allison Riddle, and Princeton, WV native Linda Drake

With Linda beside the Lunar Module

Under (part of) Saturn IV

Although getting there was a little stressful, once we arrive it was very obvious this was going to be a special week. I was a Honeywell Educator and attended a Space Camp program in 2011, but having the opportunity to learn and connect with this group of teacher that has been together all year in this incredible place signaled it would be yet another remarkable experience for this year.

Rewind Wednesday: Last Year's Berkeley County Teacher of the Year Reception

I almost went an entire day without getting on the computer. Then I remembered it's been a while since I've written a "Rewind Wednesday" post.

One event I did not include in my blog posts, which put into motion all of the other experiences that have happened over the past eight months, was being named the Berkeley County Teacher of the Year. It gets lost in the shuffle of all the excitement and travel that has come with representing West Virginia that first I was selected to represent all the teachers in my county, the same school district I graduated from as a student.

I had been a finalist in 2011. All I wanted was to do better than last time. Speaking and interviewing is something that I have worked at to improve, because I didn't want it to hold me back or embarrass me ever again. I left the room after my interview not feeling defeated. Mission accomplished. Maybe in four or five years, I could "fix" myself enough to be selected for such an honor.

I've learned that, when something big is about to happen, nobody talks to you. Everyone tries to avoid you, because they know something and don't want to give it away. Looking back, I should have known something was up. I was getting ready to go to Germany with the Transatlantic Outreach Program in a few weeks, so that's where I was focusing my attention.

When I walked in Hedgesville High School for the reception that Monday evening, I knew something was up. I could feel it, along with the photographer taking lots of pictures of me and my family. My teacher friends were there. My former principal, who had recently retired, was there. Before I walked in the auditorium, I knew. No one had to say anything. And it was overwhelming.

With last year's finalist and teacher of the year

You have to know how far I've come to know why something like this, for me, was a monumental accomplishment. Ten years ago, I was so crippled with panic attacks I couldn't drive a car. Getting through the school day took every ounce of my energy. I witnessed a fatal car accident on I-81 at the beginning of the 2004-05 school year that sent my battle with anxiety into a tailspin. I was hopeful, with Tomahawk only being 10 minutes from my home, that I would be able to make my way to school each day.

With board member Darin Gilpin and principal Beth McCoy

 I wanted to function, to be adequate, to not be ashamed of myself. I desperately wanted to be able to get through an entire school day. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a teacher after all, but I was wanted to give it one more year.

Announcement

 Slowly, things changed. Because I landed at Tomahawk, the right people and opportunities came into my life. I never saw myself as polished or the best in any way. There are teachers I work with that are more pulled together than I could ever be. But I wanted to do things, create things, for children. My aunt was a first grade teacher for 37 years. She impacted the lives of hundreds of children and their families. Dawn rose from an upbringing in poverty to become a college graduate and an incredible influence on others. I hoped to be a fraction of that person. Dawn overcame her obstacles, and I wanted to conquer mine.

With board president William Queen and Superintendent Manny Arvon

Just getting to that point last year had been a long journey, and it was there I expected it to end. It was pure joy to be recognized for my accomplishments in the classroom. There couldn't possibly be anything that would top that night, and I was looking forward to a school year where I could share this honor with my classroom and school.

With instructional specialist Ernie Dotson

With the other finalists

I had no inkling by the end of the year my classroom would be the state of West Virginia. So much has transpired that last June feels like 10 years ago. Only I know it hasn't been that long, because 10 years ago I was a very broken soul.

The first of many interviews

With my parents

With Brad

In five days, the new teacher of the year for Berkeley County will be named. Everyone has a different story for what led them to become a teacher. I choose to share my personal struggles and journey because I know someone out there - be it a student, teacher, or anyone feeling defeated - needs to know that it's possible to pick yourself up, that the right people exist to lift you up and out of your situation. Today is not forever. There is hope and peace in choosing faith over fear, and most importantly, there can be joy in the journey.

With former principal John Spataro, Katie Miller, Heather McCain, and Beth McCoy

Raleigh County: School Visits, Teacher of the Year Reception, and Exhibition Coal Mine

I'm melting.

Maybe melted would be more correct at this point. When I started to write this post last week, I was melting. Summertime has finally squeezed its way into our lives bringing heat, sunshine, and green, green grass. The crazy winter of 2014, which had me dodging snowstorms faster than a speeding snowflake, has officially evaporated, with hopefully no return in sight. Along with the promise of warm weather and good times is the avalanche of paperwork, clean up, and refereeing that follows at the end of the year in a teacher's classroom. I felt myself slowly disintegrating with every bead of sweat that formed as I strategized how to pack my classroom for summer cleaning - and my overnight bag.

Another trip. Two weeks of routine had spoiled me. I dreaded the thought of loading and unloading my car, navigating unfamiliar roads (it's all good until it's time to get off the interstate), and spending a sleepless night in a sterile (looking) hotel room. It's easier to be home. There's less guilt about being away from family and colleagues. Everyone seems to be more at ease and happier when I'm safely off the highway.

This journey can feel very isolating, because I have been on my own for much of it - with the exception of the State of the State address, Scottsdale, and the evening gala and White House ceremony. As lonely as it is, I've look forward to the people I will meet and what quasi-crisis I'm going to have to work out by myself. I'm melting, in the sense that who I thought I was is dripping away. Easy isn't what we need to help us grow. So once I was in the car and on my way to Beckley, I was fine.

My first stop in Raleigh County, in the southern region of West Virginia, was Maxwell Elementary to speak to second graders - and share Berkeley's travels. Reporters from television station WOAY came to interview me about my visit to Raleigh County, much to the delight of the first classroom I visited ("Are we gonna be on TV? ARE WE GONNA BE ON TV?!?!"). Unfortunately, I can't find a link to the interview online, but I'm sure some very excited second graders tuned in to channel 5 at 6 pm that evening to watch. One of the second graders was so excited he had his teacher take a picture of me with him (and Berkeley) and had her text it to his mother. They were happy to hear Berkeley would be telling all the students in West Virginia about his trip to Beckley on his blog, as were the Kindergartners in Mrs. Meadows' classroom at Bradley Elementary during my second school visit.

Maxwell Hill Elementary

Ms. Chapman's class - they loved Berkeley's bookmarks!

Bradley Elementary

What a beautiful mural and school!

Later that evening I attended and spoke at the Raleigh County Teacher of the Year banquet. It was a beautifully organized event, where one teacher from each of the 29 schools is recognized for their dedication and excellence. I think that is remarkable. There are countless teachers in every school that deserve recognition, and it was one of the most special events of my year to be there and speak to the teachers that I represent. Congratulations to Michelle Durham, a Pre-Kindergarten teacher at Shady Spring Elementary, for being named the 2014-15 Raleigh County Teacher of the Year. Thank you to Dave Traube, the public relations director for Raleigh County Schools, for asking me to speak and coordinating such a nice event to honor teachers.

Raleigh County Teacher of the Year finalists

With Michelle Durham,
2014-15 Raleigh County Teacher of the Year

The next morning, it was time to travel home. This was a short trip (or a short long trip rather, since Beckley is a little over 4 hours away from Martinsburg). Before I left, I stopped by the Beckley Exhibition Coal Mine. The coal industry is not prevalent in the Eastern Panhandle; most of the students and families that come to live here from out of the area have no idea regions of West Virginia depend on coal for their economy (and that the end of the coal industry in many areas has lead to their economic collapse). I felt it was important for me, as someone who represents teachers and families in West Virginia, to learn about the history of an industry that supports the lives of many of the students in my state. The Children's Youth Museum and Mountain Homestead are also on the grounds of the Exhibition Coal Mine, which are both excellent places for students of all ages to interact with history. Berkeley will have a more in depth look at coal mining for students later this week :-)

A coal miner's family home.
Oh...where's Berkeley :-)

Inside the Slab Fork Mine

Bolts in the ceiling of the mine to keep it from caving in on the miners

A kettle bottom (petrified wood) that would
be dangerous for miners to hit their heads on in the mine

Scrip - used in place of money to "pay" miners - and only redeemable
at the company store.

A harsh reality, along with only being paid
20 cents for every ton of coal mined

Coal town baseball team uniform

Some of the tools used to mine for coal

Superintendent's House

Town school for grades first through eighth. By the end of eight
grade, you were expected to go into the mines and work. 

Bachelor's shanty

Berkeley in the outhouse. :-D
I may be the teacher of the year, but I still
have a sense of humor.

That evening I was back home, back to almost normal, and back to melting. It's not getting any cooler, although I'm looking forward to the month of June moving at a slower pace. This school year has ended... and it went way off the lesson plan. As teachers we have to be flexible, but this year would have had Gumby (remember him?) tied in knots. I have had to shift my priorities, perspectives, and plans like changing states of matter. I thought I would end my eleventh year of teaching saying goodbye to another group of fifth graders, and preparing for another summer adventure. Never could I have anticipated the events and people that have woven themselves into my story and changed the direction of my life. Due to my issues with speaking and anxiety, I thought I was limited in what I could do successfully outside of the classroom. Where I was, and who I was, was going to have to be enough for me.

And because of this year, these people, and these events, I have completely melted.